Selfi(sh) Sticks

I don’t like selfie sticks.

I maintain selfie sticks are a scourge. They’re dangerous and distracting in crowds, as well as being downright ridiculous to watch in use. Coast to coast, many amusement parks most museums and arenas like the LA Coliseum and Madison Square Garden have already moved to ban them.

My wife and I have been taking selfportraits, or more accurately self-two-shots, for about as long as we’ve been together. Often that’s meant propping a camera (or in recent years sometimes a phone) on a rock, or hat, or railing, and setting the timer. (These timers have existed on cameras for at least half a century that I’m aware of).

I’m not sure if I’ve ever asked a passerby to take our photo, and I’m certain no one has ever offered. Perhaps it’s that sense of confidence and known smiles we exude when capturing a moment. Perhaps not.

However, for some reason, I’ve long found pleasure in helping folks take that photo in front of a scenic vista or landmark.

Perhaps it’s my trustworthy face, or perhaps I just give off that photographer vibe, but, for many years I felt I was being singled out to take the photo. It got to the point I occasionally volunteered when I saw one member of a group was obliged to take the picture of the rest. My actions were sincerely appreciated. I felt I’d touched others with a random act of kindness (and a well-composed photo).

But I’m aware that’s it’s happened less over the past year. Perhaps I need to get out more, or perhaps the opportunities are diminishing as more and more folks can be seen dueling with invisible foes, their phones extended on one of these goofy monopods.

In 2013, Apple declared “Every day, more photos are taken with the iPhone than any other camera.” Though the video has been erased from Youtube, the stats back up their claim.

I recall the company’s billboard alongside the promenade on my approach to the Brooklyn Bridge. Couldn’t find an image to share on line, but on a whim – discovered Apple sells a $50 selfie stick that includes a tripod feature. Ugh.

I’ve noticed the collapsible sticks have found their way into reality TV with the same dopes vying for fame and prizes required to document their insecurities and isolation by serving as their own camera operator.

Further blurring the lines between photographer and subject as I gather some news organizations are skipping the assignment of a videographer and assigning a selfie stick instead.

There’s a joke in there somewhere, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

And sure I’ve seen selfie sticks at weddings, but fortunately – not yet in the hands of a clergyman. This writer for the Knot.com at least urges folks to be respectful of the photographer, but I figure it’s only a matter of time before booze and selfie sticks combine to make the professional’s job more difficult. Hope I don’t run into them anytime soon in my capacity as a Hunter wedding photographer.

Though… with a number of officiants already presiding over ceremonies at their own for-profit facilities with an interest in the catering and homegrown floral arrangements, will it be too long? If it’s this year, you probably heard it here first.

Will a future generation of Shopping Mall Santas wear a coin changer on their big black belt and carry a selfie stick accosting children in the common areas or outside on the street – as the traditional model of a shopping mall (and shopping mall Santas) struggle for relevance?

I remember visiting Niagara Falls in 2015 and shaking my head at all the selfie sticks on display. They made it that much harder for me to take my own shots of the falls – each selfie-sticker effectively taking up that much more space than without.

The author and wife, some years ago at Niagara Falls. Sorta.

This shot could have been taken with a selfie-stick, but alas I DON’T OWN ONE. Of course, it wasn’t even taken with the Falls for a background. Instead, it was taken on an assembly line in front of a green screen – prior to (if memory serves) Jennifer and I boarding a ferry that took us into the mist.

I’m sure these things aren’t going away, in fact I’m certain they’ll become more pervasive. But I don’t have to like it.

Tacky.

I simply don’t like selfie sticks, though I admit these folks may take their feelings a bit too far with pruning shears (if it’s not a gag). The comments, on that link are worth a skim as well.

While researching this story, I did find these ridiculous sticks could be good for a laugh, when I happened on upon this site featuring movie stills (such as the one at the top of this post) in which the guns have been replaced with selfie sticks – and with some overlap this one.